An Inappropriate Adventure
by cleotheo
Summary: When Snape is unwillingly dragged into Dumbledore's latest scheme to create unity between two rival Gryffindor and Slytherin students, he discovers more than he wanted to know about Draco's love life. One Shot.


**A/N - This is just a short (hopefully funny) one shot. Enjoy!**

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"Bloody crazy." Severus Snape muttered to himself as he entered his office and slammed down a vial of potion on his desk. "The man has lost it."

Snape had just came from the Headmaster's office where Professor Dumbledore had just told him he had a plan to end the feuding between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and in particular Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Snape had tried arguing that the two boys simply didn't like one another and they shouldn't interfere and try and force them to get along. Dumbledore however was having none of it and insisted they get the boys to form a truce. The whole idea of a truce was ludicrous and Snape had told Dumbledore that neither boy would agree to one, which was when Dumbledore had informed him of the extent of his plan.

Dumbledore's plan was to force the pair into a truce by doing it for them. He'd given Snape a vial of polyjuice potion and told him to call Draco to his office, while he would be doing the same with Harry. Once in his office he was to put him to sleep and use the polyjuice potion to turn into his student. The two professors would then meet up, in the guise of the two students, and call a truce. Upon returning to their respective offices they were to plant the memories of the truce in each boys head and see what happened.

Snape thought the whole plan was ridiculous but nothing could dissuade the Headmaster for ploughing ahead with it. Reluctantly Snape had agreed to participate in the plan and he left Dumbledore's office with a time and place to meet the Headmaster later that evening.

After stewing over the plan for a while Snape bit the bullet and summoned Draco to his office. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and the blond head of his godson entered the room.

"You wanted to see me." Draco said, entering the room fully.

"Yes, sit down." Snape said.

Once Draco was seated Snape muttered a spell underneath his breath and the blond slumped down in his seat, fast asleep. Rising to his feet Snape plucked a hair from his godson's head and added it to the potion on his desk. Reluctantly the Potions Professor picked up the vial and threw it down his neck.

Snape grimaced at the foul taste and held onto the desk as he felt himself begin to change. After a couple of minutes, he found himself standing in the teenage body of one of his students. Shaking his head at the absurdity of the situation Snape flicked his wand and changed his robes into a school uniform. Double checking he was dressed the same way as his godson Snape reluctantly left his office, making sure to lock the door behind him.

Heading through the corridors of the dungeons Snape tried his best to walk with the same confident swagger Draco did, but he found it hard. As a teenager he had been anything but confident and even now he strode purposefully around the castle, whereas Draco sauntered along at a more leisurely pace. After a few minutes Snape was satisfied he was walking enough like Draco so no-one would question him if they saw him. Not that he wanted anyone to see him, he wanted to meet Dumbledore and return to his office unnoticed.

Unfortunately for Snape he hadn't made it out of the dungeons before he was approached by Blaise Zabini. Blaise was Draco's best friend, but Snape had no real idea how the two boys interacted. He knew that Draco was standoffish and cold to people he didn't know, but if he trusted someone he was much more open and showed more of his real self. Snape was hoping that his godson wasn't so close to Blaise that he would notice any inconsistencies in his behaviour.

"Where are you sneaking off to?" Blaise asked with a grin.

"I'm not sneaking anywhere." Snape responded, racking his brains for somewhere Draco could be heading. "I'm going to the library to do some studying."

"And what are you studying, biology?" Blaise chuckled. "Specifically the female form." He added, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Snape gaped at Blaise's implications and his mind immediately began running over the possibilities of which witch Draco was involved with. Snape knew his godson was popular with the witches, but he hadn't noticed him hanging around with anyone in particular.

"Anyway, have fun." Blaise called as he began to head towards the common room. "And don't forget to be careful."

As Blaise disappeared around the corner Snape continued on his way. As he did so his eyes flicked from side to side, watching out for approaching witches. The last thing he needed was to get accosted by whatever witch his godson was sleeping with.

Turning another corner Snape paled as he spotted Pansy Parkinson heading his way. Draco and Pansy had been friends for years and judging by the warm smile she was throwing his way it was a distinct possibility their friendship had blossomed into something more.

"Hi, Draco." Pansy greeted, not stopping as she passed the blond.

Snape breathed a huge sigh of relief when Pansy carried on walking and disappeared into the bowels of the dungeons. Hoping he wouldn't run into anyone else Snape quickened his pace, eager to leave the dungeons. He figured once he was away from the Slytherin territory he was less likely to run into anyone who would spot something was amiss with Draco.

Snape did manage to leave the dungeons without further incident, but as he was walking along a corridor on the third floor he was abruptly pulled into an alcove hidden behind a tapestry. Before Snape could react he was pushed against the wall and a feminine form pressed herself up against him. With the tapestry hiding the entrance the alcove was shrouded in shadows so Snape had no idea who had accosted him.

Before he had a chance to question the witch, she pressed her soft lips against his and engaged him in a heated exchange. Despite himself Snape found Draco's body responding to the kiss and it was only the feeling of the witch's hand groping his trousers that pulled him to his senses. Taking control Snape pulled the eager witch's hands off him and gently pushed her away from him.

"What's wrong with you?" The witch asked.

Snape's eyes widened as he recognised the voice as belonging to the Gryffindor witch, Hermione Granger. Hermione was best friends with Harry Potter and from everything Snape had seen she and Draco seemed to despise each other.

"You don't normally push me away." She continued, sounding disappointed.

"Miss Granger!" He blurted, before he could stop himself.

"Miss. Oh I didn't realise we were roleplaying, Professor Malfoy." Hermione purred, moving back in front of her boyfriend and placing her hands on his chest. "Are you going to punish me for being a bad girl?"

Snape almost choked at Hermione's implication, but worse than that Draco's body was definitely responding to the curves of the young witch pressed up against him. Snape could feel his trousers becoming increasingly tight and he knew he had to escape the alcove fast, before he did something stupid and let the teenage hormones take over his better judgement.

"Not now." He said, pushing Hermione away for a second time. "Sorry, I've got somewhere I have to be."

Taking advantage of Hermione's confusion Snape darted out of the alcove and hurried on his way. As he worked on getting himself calmed down before meeting Dumbledore, he failed to notice Hermione exiting the alcove just behind him and following him. Taking deep breaths Snape managed to control Draco's body and dispel the lust that had been very evident only moments before.

Reaching the corridor he was meeting Dumbledore in Snape took a deep breath before heading off down the corridor. Halfway down the corridor Dumbledore, posing as Harry, emerged from one of the classrooms and ran into him.

"Watch where you're going, Potter." Snape snapped, giving his pre-prepared response to seeing the Headmaster posing as Potter.

"Sorry." Dumbledore replied, playing his role. "It was an accident."

"Apology accepted." Snape said, turning to leave.

"Malfoy, wait." Dumbledore called, stopping Snape before he left.

"What?" Snape said, turning back to the Headmaster in a teenager's body.

"Do you think we can call a truce? All this arguing is getting tiring." Dumbledore said. "I'm sure if we both tried we could learn to get along."

"Maybe." Snape shrugged. "But you're right, the arguing is getting old. I'm up for a truce."

Dumbledore grinned and held out his hand, which Snape took and the two Professors shook on the truce. With a nod Dumbledore turned and walked off, leaving Snape to turn around and head back in the direction of the dungeons.

After the meeting with Dumbledore, Snape hurried back down to the dungeons, making sure to avoid the corridor in which he had left Hermione. The identity of Draco's lover was a massive surprise to Snape, but even more surprising was Hermione's very forward behaviour. He'd always considered the Gryffindor to be a bit of a goody-goody, so he was surprised to find she had a wild side.

Snape was so lost up in his thoughts that he failed to hear the footsteps behind him. It wasn't until he was dragged into yet another alcove, that he realised he should have been watching out for Draco's girlfriend. With no tapestry blocking the light this time, Snape could make out Hermione as she pushed him forcefully against the wall and stood in front of him.

"What was that?" Hermione demanded.

"What was what?" Snape asked, trying to play dumb.

"That little meeting with Harry." Hermione said.

"It wasn't a meeting, we bumped into each other." Snape shrugged.

"No you didn't, it was deliberate." Hermione replied, tilting her head and studying her boyfriend carefully. "The second you finished talking you turned round and headed back down here. You deliberately went up there to meet him."

"Fine I went up there deliberately. Blaise said he was up there so I went to find him."

"Why?"

"To call a truce." Snape answered.

"Why would you want to call a truce with Harry?" Hermione questioned suspiciously.

"I figured since he's your best friend it would be easier if we all got along." Snape answered, hoping his reply would be enough to keep Hermione from questioning him further.

Hermione stood for several seconds, before she smiled and pressed herself right up against the blond. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled his head down and connected their lips yet again. Once again Snape was taken by surprise at the action, and once again Draco's body seemed to respond without him doing anything.

"Thank you." Hermione whispered, trailing her lips down her boyfriend's neck. "I appreciate you making things easier with Harry. And since you've done something for me, maybe I can do something for you."

Snape frowned at her words, but before he had a chance to work out what she meant Hermione had reached her hand down to his trousers. As quick as a flash she had his zipper down and her hand was inside Draco's trousers, fondling his manhood. Snape couldn't help but let out a moan as he began to harden in her hand.

"We shouldn't be doing this." He gasped, trying to prise the witch off him.

"Nonsense." Hermione responded, refusing to be pushed away. "You're being very strange tonight, you never normally object to me getting on my knees for you."

Snape whimpered at the thought and he knew he had to leave now. The polyjuice potion would be wearing off any minute and the situation was embarrassing enough as it was. Snape tried yet again to push Hermione off him, but she merely continued to stoke him as her lips travelled over his neck and face.

"You really don't want to do this." Snape gasped, feeling the effects of the polyjuice potion starting to wear off.

Hermione just laughed and carried on with what she was doing. Finally managing to get hold of Hermione properly, Snape pulled her hand out of his trousers just as the potion faded completely. At the sight of her boyfriend turning into her Potions Professor, Hermione screamed and jumped back away from Snape.

"I told you, you didn't want to be doing that." Snape muttered, swishing his wand and turning his clothes back into his own.

Snape was pleased to be back in his normal body, and he was especially pleased to be back wearing his billowing cloak as Hermione's actions had left him with a slight problem. While Draco's body effortlessly responded to his girlfriend's touch the memories and feelings were very much in his head and his own body had reacted accordingly.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Hermione muttered. "I've just groped my Professor."

"Let's never speak of that again." Snape said. "Come to my office, we need to talk."

"Do I have to?" Hermione questioned, wanting to get away from the dungeons as fast as she could.

"Yes." Snape snapped. "Come on."

Snape swept out of the alcove and with Hermione following him they made their way back to his office. The second they stepped inside Hermione rushed over to the real Draco, who was still slumped in the chair where Snape had left him.

"What's going on?" Hermione questioned.

"I'll explain once I've woken Draco." Snape replied, flicking his wand and waking his godson from his slumber.

Draco jolted awake and looked at Hermione in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Sit down Miss Granger, and I'll explain." Snape sighed, settling into his own seat as Hermione sat next to her boyfriend. "It all started when I went to see Professor Dumbledore a few hours ago."

For the next five minutes Snape told Hermione and Draco all about Dumbledore's plan. He left nothing out and told them what he was supposed to do and admitted that he hadn't planted the false memories in Draco's head.

"Surely there's rules about this." Draco frowned. "You can't have Professors going around posing as students, it could cause all sorts of problems."

"It sure does." Snape muttered, thinking about the problem in his trousers he still had to deal with.

"What happens now?" Hermione asked. "Harry will have this false memory and Dumbledore will be mad the plan failed."

"Oh but it didn't, the truce will happen." Snape declared. "Draco is going to uphold the truce and no-one outside of this room is ever going to find out what happened today."

"I'm not honouring a truce I didn't make." Draco protested.

"You will." Snape replied. "You know it's for the best Draco, besides it'll make thing easier for the pair of you."

"How do you work that out?" Draco asked. "Potter has nothing to do with our relationship."

"It would be easier to tell people if you and Harry weren't constantly at each other's throats." Hermione told her boyfriend. "Please do it, Draco."

Draco looked at his girlfriend's pleading face for a minute or so before nodding and agreeing to the truce. "Fine, I'll honour the truce. There'll be no more fighting between me and Potter."

"Thank you Draco." Hermione beamed, throwing her arms around her real boyfriend and giving him a kiss.

"You know if I'm making peace with Potter, I should get a proper thank you." Draco said with a smirk.

"I can manage that." Hermione replied, trying her best not to dwell on the fact she'd almost done the exact same thing to Snape.

"I suggest you two leave now." Snape said tightly, all the talk of Hermione thanking Draco was doing little to help his situation. "And as I said before the events of this night are never to be spoken about again." He added, staring pointedly at Hermione.

Hermione quickly nodded in agreement and as she pulled Draco to his feet and headed towards the door, her boyfriend looked between his girlfriend and godfather in confusion. There was something else going on here, something he didn't know about.

"What exactly happened outside of this office?" Draco questioned Hermione as he pulled him from the office.

Luckily for Snape the door shut before he heard Hermione's explanation. It was up to her if she ever told Draco the truth, but he definitely wasn't planning on telling him. He wasn't going to tell anyone he'd been groped by a student, and he definitely wasn't going to tell anyone he'd liked it. Tomorrow he'd tell Dumbledore the plan had worked perfectly, but now he had to deal with the problem his little adventure had left him with.

**The End.**


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